The State of Affairs

Rethinking Infidelity

Author: Esther Perel

Publisher: HarperCollins

ISBN: 0062322605

Category: Psychology

Page: 336

View: 7907

Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
Posted in Psychology

I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You

Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship

Author: Andrew G Marshall

Publisher: A&C Black

ISBN: 1408810980

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 304

View: 1490

How do you fall back in love? This was the underlying problem of one in four couples seeking help from relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall. They described their problem as: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. Noticing how widespread the phenomenon had become, he decided to look more closely. Why were these relationships becoming defined more by companionship than by passion, and why was companionship no longer enough? From his research Andrew has devised his own unique programme. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, share love, take responsibility, give and learn he offers in seven steps a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves, strengthen their bond and recover that lost magic.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Passionista

The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

Author: Ian Kerner

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062281089

Category: Health & Fitness

Page: 224

View: 1184

Transform Yourself from "Passion Victim" to Passionista! In the smash hit She Comes First, Ian Kerner singlehandedly waged battle against male sexual "ill-cliteracy," and women everywhere benefited from his "viva la vulva" philosophy of female pleasure. Now, in Passionista, it's time to learn all about what turns men onand makes them stay on. In this point-by-point, "blow-by-blow" guide, Kerner makes giving as much fun as receiving as he covers every angle of male sexuality, unlocks the secrets of satisfaction, and offers knowledgeable answers to the questions every woman wonders about. His advice is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick. Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest so popular, Passionista is the empowered woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest
Posted in Health & Fitness

Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Author: Esther Perel

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0061835226

Category: Psychology

Page: 272

View: 8676

A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love.
Posted in Psychology

When Good People Have Affairs

Inside the Hearts & Minds of People in Two Relationships

Author: Mira Kirshenbaum

Publisher: Macmillan

ISBN: 9781429944700

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 272

View: 6268

A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Private Lies

Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy

Author: Frank S. Pittman

Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

ISBN: 9780393307078

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 309

View: 6742

Discusses the most common crisis in marriage--infidelity--uses examples from literature, film and therapeutic practice to understand why people "cheat," and offers suggestions on how to make a marriage work
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Ten Types of Human

A New Understanding of Who We Are, and Who We Can Be

Author: Dexter Dias

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1473519373

Category: Psychology

Page: 848

View: 8686

‘This book is the one. Think Sapiens and triple it.’ – Julia Hobsbawm, author of Fully Connected We all have ten types of human in our head. They’re the people we become when we face life’s most difficult decisions. We want to believe there are things we would always do – or things we never would. But how can we be sure? What are our limits? Do we have limits? The Ten Types of Human is a pioneering examination of human nature. It looks at the best and worst that human beings are capable of, and asks why. It explores the frontiers of the human experience, uncovering the forces that shape our thoughts and actions in extreme situations. From courtrooms to civil wars, from Columbus to child soldiers, Dexter Dias takes us on a globe-spanning journey in search of answers, touching on the lives of some truly exceptional people. Combining cutting-edge neuroscience, social psychology and human rights research, The Ten Types of Human is a provocative map to our hidden selves. It provides a new understanding of who we are – and who we can be. ‘I emerged from this book feeling better about almost everything... a mosaic of faces building into this extraordinary portrait of our species.’ – Guardian ‘The Ten Types of Human is a fantastic piece of non-fiction, mixing astonishing real-life cases with the latest scientific research to provide a guide to who we really are. It’s inspiring and essential.’ – Charles Duhigg ‘Uplifting and indispensable.’ – Howard Cunnell What readers are saying about 'the most important book in years': ‘utterly compelling...this one comes with a warning – only pick it up if you can risk not putting it down’ – Wendy Heydorn on Amazon, 5 stars ‘one of the most remarkable books I've read... I can genuinely say that it has changed the way I view the world’ – David Jones on Amazon, 5 stars ‘Essential reading for anyone wishing to understand the human condition... a thrilling and beautifully crafted book’ – Wasim on Amazon, 5 stars ‘This is the most important book I have read in years’ – Natasha Geary on Amazon, 5 stars ‘an important and fascinating read... It will keep you glued to the page’ – Hilary Burrage on Amazon, 5 stars ‘a journey that I will never forget, will always be grateful for, and I hope will help me question who I am... a work of genius’ – Louise on Amazon, 5 stars ‘This is a magnificent book that will capture the interest of every type of reader... one of those rare and special books that demand rereading’ – Amelia on Amazon, 5 stars ‘I simply couldn’t put it down... one of the most significant books of our time’ – Jocelyne Quennell on Amazon, 5 stars ‘Read The Ten Types of Human and be prepared to fall in love’ – Helen Fospero on Amazon, 5 stars
Posted in Psychology

How Can I Ever Trust You Again?

Infidelity: From Discovery to Recovery in Seven Steps

Author: Andrew G. Marshall

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

ISBN: 0992971861

Category: Self-Help

Page: 288

View: 1156

There are few things in life more traumatic than discovering that your partner is having an affair. You are not only coping with the pain and anger but also the sense that your partner is a stranger. How could someone you love, and thought that you knew, treat you like this? How can you ever trust your partner again? Don't panic. Millions of ordinary men and women have trodden the same path and come out the other end with not only their love restored but a significantly stronger and better relationship. Whether you are the discoverer of the affair or whether you were discovered, Marshall offers guidance and support, and explains: The seven stages that couples move through from discovery to recovery. What makes people more vulnerable to affairs. The eight types of infidelity and how understanding your partner's affair is key to deciding whether you should stay or go. How to stop your imagination running wild and your brain from going into meltdown. Why some couples emerge stronger and why others get derailed from the recovery process. With over thirty years' experience as a marital therapist, Marshall draws on hundreds of case studies and provides practical, compassionate and sensible advice to keep your relationship alive. As he says, "It might sound strange, but you can turn this crisis from the worst thing that has happened to your relationship into one of the best.
Posted in Self-Help

NOT "Just Friends"

Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

Author: Shirley Glass

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1416586407

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 448

View: 7735

One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity

Author: Scott Haltzman

Publisher: JHU Press

ISBN: 1421409429

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 297

View: 5858

Advocates against ending a relationship due to cheating, teaching both victims and perpetrators of infidelity how to deal with their feelings, reduce their sense of despair, and begin rebuilding a strong relationship.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Can We Start Again Please?

Twenty questions to fall back in love

Author: Andrew G. Marshall

Publisher: Marshall Method Publishing

ISBN: 0995540330

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 112

View: 7645

Andrew G. Marshall is a marital therapist and author of eighteen books on turning around relationships. He has taken his thirty-years' experience and boiled everything he has learnt from three thousand clients into this short book to help you start over. Whether you want to improve what's already good or feel you are your partner are dangerously out of touch, there are tools to diagnose the real issues between you and plenty of practical advice. If your partner is in despair of your relationship ever improving or has fallen out of love, this book has been created to help you recruit him or her to try again. Can We Start Over Please? explains: • Why people fall out of love • How to get back the sexual spark • The five love languages and how to learn to speak your partner's • Twenty questions to get back that 'just met' buzz • The seven most powerful interventions to improve communication
Posted in Family & Relationships

Infidelity

Why Men and Women Cheat

Author: Kenneth Paul Rosenberg

Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books

ISBN: 073822023X

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 288

View: 7337

What the latest science tells us about the brain's reward systems, love, and sex--and how to prevent an affair from destroying your life How can I prevent an affair from destroying my life? Whether I am the cheater or the betrayed partner, how can I survive, even thrive, in the wake of an affair? Infidelity provides key insights to find your true sexual and romantic potential and advocates honesty, trust, and integrity--the fundamentals of love. People often cheat in a haze of delusion, believing that it will bring them real love, help them have better sex, lift their spirits, and boost their sagging self-esteem; however, very often, cheating wrecks relationships and erodes self-esteem. In Infidelity, one of America's top doctors combines neuroscience, addiction theory, and common sense to explain the three types of cheating: emotional, virtual, and physical; why they're so prevalent; and how to live in accordance with our values when we are drawn to stray. Examining what the latest science tells us about the brain's reward systems, love, and sex, Dr. Kenneth Paul Rosenberg reveals what drives men and women to cheat and what they can do about it. At a time when America's pornography obsession rises to the level of a competing sexual interest, when is porn a problem, and when does it count as infidelity? And since it is not the act of infidelity alone that destroys a couple, how does any couple prevent growing apart? Through concrete rules addressing these and other vital questions, Dr. Rosenberg guides couples on how to prevent cheating, stop it from progressing, and repair the damage caused by an affair.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Getting Past the Affair

A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart

Author: Douglas K. Snyder,Donald H. Baucom,Kristina Coop Gordon

Publisher: Guilford Press

ISBN: 1606237993

Category: Psychology

Page: 342

View: 844

Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. Based on the only program that’s been tested--and proven--to relieve destructive emotions in the wake of infidelity, this compassionate book offers support and expert advice from a team of award-winning couple therapists. If you stay with your spouse, you’ll find realistic tips for rebuilding your marriage and restoring trust. But no matter which path you choose, you’ll discover effective ways to recover personally, avoid lasting scars, and pursue healthier relationships in the future. Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Book of Merit
Posted in Psychology

Secrets

A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances

Author: Jonathan Daugherty

Publisher: Be Broken Ministries, Inc.

ISBN: 1606969390

Category: Religion

Page: 161

View: 9175

I wish it never happened.' These are the words of Jonathan Daugherty, a man who had a secret, one that shaped his view of life and relationships for thirteen years. Secrets is his story of overcoming addiction, infidelity, and finally finding the path that led him to a place of true peace and freedom. In this powerful and personal book, Jonathan reveals: --The nature and danger of secrets --The consequences of emotional detachment --Insights for dealing with addiction, death, brokenness, and healing --The secret to living a life of peace and joy Secrets is a true story of one man's journey through brokenness and despair that will captivate you, encourage you, and ultimately motivate you to live your own life to the fullest. Whether you are living a double life of secrecy and lies or not, Secrets will move you to reconsider how you live your life from this moment on, challenging you to live each day with no more regrets.
Posted in Religion

A Beautiful, Terrible Thing

A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal

Author: Jen Waite

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0735216509

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 272

View: 9379

“Like Big Little Lies, A Beautiful Terrible Thing is a startling reminder that fairy tales aren’t real. A master class in suspenseful storytelling, Jen Waite recounts the lies, betrayals, and infidelity she endured with unrestrained honesty and deft candor. I couldn’t turn away.” —Jillian Lauren, New York Times bestselling author of Some Girls: My Life in a Harem and Everything You Ever Wanted What do you do when you discover that the person you've built your life around never existed? When "it could never happen to me" does happen to you? These are the questions facing Jen Waite when she begins to realize that her loving husband—the father of her infant daughter, her best friend, the love of her life—fits the textbook definition of psychopath. In a raw, first-person account, Waite recounts each heartbreaking discovery, every life-destroying lie, and reveals what happens once the dust finally settles on her demolished marriage. After a disturbing email sparks Waite's suspicion that her husband is having an affair, she tries to uncover the truth and rebuild trust in her marriage. Instead, she finds more lies, infidelity, and betrayal than she could have imagined. Waite obsessively analyzes her relationship, trying to find a single moment from the last five years that isn't part of the long-con of lies and manipulation. With a dual-timeline narrative structure, we see Waite's romance bud, bloom, and wither simultaneously, making the heartbreak and disbelief even more affecting.
Posted in Biography & Autobiography

The Truth

Sex, Love, Commitment, and the Puzzle of the Male Mind

Author: Neil Strauss

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062355589

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 448

View: 5799

This is not a journey that was undertaken for journalistic purposes. It is a painfully honest account of a life crisis that was forced on me by my own behavior and its consequences. "As such, it requires sharing a lot of things I'm not proud of—and a few things I feel like I should regret a whole lot more than I actually do. Because, unfortunately, I am not the hero in this tale. I am the villain." So begins Neil Strauss's long-awaited follow-up to The Game, the funny and slyly instructive work of immersive journalism that jump-started the international "seduction community" and made Strauss a household name—revered or notorious—among single men and women alike. In The Truth, Strauss takes on his greatest challenge yet: Relationships. And in this wild and highly entertaining ride, he explores the questions that men and women are asking themselves every day: Is it natural to be faithful to one person for life? Do alternatives to monogamy lead to better relationships and greater happiness? What draws us to the partners we choose? Can we keep passion and romance from fading over time? His quest for answers takes him from Viagra-laden free-love orgies to sex addiction clinics, from cutting-edge science labs to modern-day harems, and, most terrifying of all, to his own mother. What he discovered changed everything he knew about love, sex, relationships, and, ultimately, himself. Searingly honest and compulsively readable, The Truth just may have the same effect on you. If The Game taught you how to meet members of the opposite sex, The Truth will teach you how to keep them.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Infidelity

A Survival Guide (Large Print 16pt)

Author: Don-David Lusterman

Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com

ISBN: 1458756750

Category:

Page: 364

View: 9951

An affair is a major crisis in your relationship, but one which you can survive. For some couples, once an infidelity and its after effects are behind them, the marriage is actually stronger than before. For others, coming to terms with what the affair was really about can enable a couple to break up with less anger and create a settlement that will offer their children the best hope for a healthy adjustment after the divorce. Infidelity is a step-by-step guide that will help you cope with the emotional impact of an affair and either choose to break up or begin to build a new model for your marriage.
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Out of the Doghouse

A Step-By-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating

Author: Robert Weiss

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.

ISBN: 075731922X

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 216

View: 5756

DATING, RELATIONSHIPS, LIVING TOGETHER & MARRIAGE. Typically, men are good at creating rifts in relationships but terrible at mending them, especially after they've repeatedly betrayed their partner through sexual infidelity. For the most part, cheating men are both intimacy-challenged and empathy-challenged, and, as such, they lack the skills needed to overcome the damage wrought by their infidelity. Robert Weiss has spent over twenty years in the treatment of sex and intimacy issues, helping both cheating men and their betrayed spouses. In Out of the Doghouse he shares his expertise, illuminating the ways in which men can move beyond their usual feeble efforts to smooth things over. Sure, saying "I'm sorry" and trying to "buy forgiveness" with flowers and jewelry may temporarily calm the stormy seas, but these actions do nothing to re-establish trust, which is what a distraught woman needs if she hopes to feel better about her relationship over the long-term.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Healing from Infidelity

The Divorce Busting® Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair

Author: Michele Weiner-Davis

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780998058412

Category:

Page: 208

View: 4003

Little compares to the devastation people feel upon discovering their spouse has been unfaithful. Shocked, devastated and overwhelmed, couples often hit stalemates as they struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never-ending arguments about the betrayal.From the bestselling author of DIVORCE BUSTING and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE, renowned therapist, and TEDx speaker, Michele Weiner-Davis, comes a powerful blueprint for helping couples rebuild trust and mend their marriages following the crisis of discovery of an affair through forgiveness and beyond. Based on over three decades of experience helping couples recover from betrayal and save their marriages, Weiner-Davis offers a step-by-step program to help readers:· Deal with traumatic feelings after the discovery· Respond to questions about the affair· Talk about intense emotions without arguing· End the affair· Offer apologies that are sincere and healing· Overcome flashbacks and painful memories· Rebuild trust and accountability· Make their marriage stronger than before the affair· Find forgiveness· Reconnect sexuallyThis book is filled with case vignettes of couples whose lives were shattered by betrayal but have eventually recovered and thrived. With the publication of HEALING FROM INFIDELITY, the practical advice available to her clients will be made accessible to millions more who desperately want to move through the pain of infidelity and restore their love.
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Open Her

Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse Your Woman's Love and Desire

Author: Karen Brody

Publisher: Dreamstream Press

ISBN: 9780692273470

Category:

Page: 240

View: 2764

Open Her teaches a man how to embody 7 Masculine Archetypes to engage his woman in a deeper, more passionate dance of love. Each archetype brings a power and a gift, a secret key to his woman's love and desire. Open Her will inspire a man to love his masculinity and to know the power it holds to open a woman to ever deepening states of pleasure and love.
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