The Gift of Failure

How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed

Author: Jessica Lahey

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0062299247

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 304

View: 499

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER In the tradition of Paul Tough’s How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel’s The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults. Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Gift of Failure

How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed

Author: Jessica Lahey

Publisher: Harper Paperbacks

ISBN: 9780062299253

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 320

View: 7682

Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents now rush to school to deliver forgotten assignments, challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher, journalist, and parent Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well-being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Everywhere she turned, Lahey saw an obvious and startling fear of failure—in both her students and in her own children. This fear has the potential to undermine children’s autonomy, competence, motivation, and their relationships with the adults in their lives. Providing a clear path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most important, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s setbacks along with their successes. Empathetic and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children thrive—and grow into independent, confident adults. “It’s hard to overstate the importance of this book. The Gift of Failure is beautifully written and deeply researched. But most of all it’s the one book we all need to read if we want to instill the next generation with confidence and joy.”—Susan Cain, author of Quiet “Instead of lecturing us about what we’re doing wrong, Jessica Lahey reveals what she did wrong with her own children and students—and how she systematically reformed her ways. A refreshing, practical book for parents who want to raise resilient kids but aren’t sure how to start.”—Amanda Ripley, author of The Smartest Kids in the World “Lahey offers one of the most important parenting messages of our times: unless we allow our children to learn how to take on challenges, they won’t thrive in school and in life. Her extremely helpful book tells her story, compiles research, and provides hundreds of doable suggestions.”—Ellen Galinsky, author of Mind in the Making “This fascinating, thought-provoking book shows that to help children succeed, we must allow them to fail. Essential reading for parents, teachers, coaches, psychologists, and anyone else who wants to guide children toward lives of independence, creativity, and courage.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project “How can we help our children grow to be resourceful, happy adults? Lahey shows in practical terms how to know what your child is ready for and how to offer support even as you encourage autonomy. A wise, engaging book steeped in scientific research and tempered with common sense.”—Daniel T. Willingham, PhD, author of Why Don’t Students Like School? “Through an artful combination of anecdote and research, Lahey delivers a lesson that moms and dads badly need to learn: that failure is vital to children’s success. Any parent who pines for a saner, more informed approach to childrearing should read this book.”—Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Gift of Failure

Author: Jessica Lahey

Publisher: Short Books

ISBN: 1780722451

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 304

View: 733

We are the generation that invented over-parenting. For all our best intentions to protect our children from tripping up - rushing to school to deliver forgotten lunches, or correcting their homework to ensure they gain top marks - we are in danger of depriving them of the most important lessons of childhood. As Jessica Lahey demonstrates, disappointments, rejections and criticism are actually opportunities in disguise. Again and again, the students from her classes who have gone on to become the happiest and most successful adults are the ones who were allowed to suffer the consequences of their mistakes. In this fascinating book, packed with case studies and practical advice, Lahey proposes a gentle but vital shift in the way we parent. She urges us to step back and trust our children, and allow them to experience the joy of succeeding on their terms rather than ours.
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Rise

Creativity, the Gift of Failure, and the Search for Mastery

Author: Sarah Lewis

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1451629257

Category: Psychology

Page: 272

View: 4397

From celebrated art historian, curator, and teacher Sarah Lewis, a fascinating examination of how our most iconic creative endeavors—from innovation to the arts—are not achievements but conversions, corrections after failed attempts. The gift of failure is a riddle: it will always be both the void and the start of infinite possibility. The Rise—part investigation into a psychological mystery, part an argument about creativity and art, and part a soulful celebration of the determination and courage of the human spirit—makes the case that many of the world’s greatest achievements have come from understanding the central importance of failure. Written over the course of four years, this exquisite biography of an idea is about the improbable foundations of a creative human endeavor. Each chapter focuses on the inestimable value of often ignored ideas—the power of surrender, how play is essential for innovation, the “near win” can help propel you on the road to mastery, the importance of grit and creative practice. The Rise shares narratives about figures past and present that range from choreographers, writers, painters, inventors, and entrepreneurs; Frederick Douglass, Samuel F.B. Morse, Diane Arbus, and J.K. Rowling, for example, feature alongside choreographer Paul Taylor, Nobel Prize–winning physicists Andre Geim and Konstantin Novoselov, and Arctic explorer Ben Saunders. With valuable lessons for pedagogy and parenting, for innovation and discovery, and for self-direction and creativity, The Rise “gives the old chestnut ‘If at first you don’t succeed…’ a jolt of adrenaline” (Elle).
Posted in Psychology

How to Raise an Adult

Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

Author: Julie Lythcott-Haims

Publisher: Henry Holt and Company

ISBN: 1627791787

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 368

View: 412

New York Times Bestseller "Julie Lythcott-Haims is a national treasure. . . . A must-read for every parent who senses that there is a healthier and saner way to raise our children." -Madeline Levine, author of the New York Times bestsellers The Price of Privilege and Teach Your Children Well "For parents who want to foster hearty self-reliance instead of hollow self-esteem, How to Raise an Adult is the right book at the right time." -Daniel H. Pink, author of the New York Times bestsellers Drive and A Whole New Mind A provocative manifesto that exposes the harms of helicopter parenting and sets forth an alternate philosophy for raising preteens and teens to self-sufficient young adulthood In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success. Relevant to parents of toddlers as well as of twentysomethings-and of special value to parents of teens-this book is a rallying cry for those who wish to ensure that the next generation can take charge of their own lives with competence and confidence.
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Self-driven Child

The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

Author: William Stixrud,Ned Johnson

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0735222517

Category: Education

Page: 384

View: 1048

A clinical psychologist and a test-prep expert combine cutting-edge brain science with insights from their work with families to outline a case for giving children more freedom to unleash their full potential.
Posted in Education

Protecting the Gift

Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)

Author: Gavin De Becker

Publisher: Dell

ISBN: 0307833690

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 352

View: 4001

Safety skills for children outside the home Warning signs of sexual abuse How to screen baby-sitters and choose schools Strategies for keeping teenagers safe from violence All parents face the same challenges when it comes to their children's safety: whom to trust, whom to distrust, what to believe, what to doubt, what to fear, and what not to fear. In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior and author of the monumental bestseller The Gift of Fear, offers practical new steps to enhance children's safety at every age level, giving you the tools you need to allow your kids freedom without losing sleep yourself. With daring and compassion, he shatters the widely held myths about danger and safety and helps parents find some certainty about life's highest-stakes questions: How can I know a baby-sitter won't turn out to be someone who harms my child? (see page 103) What should I ask child-care professionals when I interview them? (see page 137) What's the best way to prepare my child for walking to school alone? (see page 91) How can my child be safer at school? (see page 175) How can I spot sexual predators? (see page 148) What should I do if my child is lost in public? (see page 86) How can I teach my child about risk without causing too much fear? (see page 98) What must my teenage daughter know in order to be safe? (see page 191) What must my teenage son know in order to be safe? (see page 218) And finally, in the face of all these questions, how can I reduce the worrying? (see page 56)
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Art of Failing

Notes from the Underdog

Author: Anthony McGowan

Publisher: Oneworld Publications

ISBN: 1786071835

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 288

View: 1442

HAUNTED! By endless tiny humiliations. STRUGGLING! To resurrect the corpse of his literary career. ENSNARED! In a loving yet perplexing marriage. Anthony McGowan is a man at odds with the universe. Stumbling from one improbable fiasco to the next, patrolling the mean streets of West Hampstead like some unholy cross between Columbo, J. Alfred Prufrock and a common tramp, he ponders the very stuff of life itself. For McGowan that’s holed socks, unsatisfactory packed lunches, athlete’s foot powder, Kierkegaard, the eccentricities of the British Library, liver salts, Morrissey and disapproving ladies on trains... Relentlessly honest, exquisitely funny, The Art of Failing is a paean to the glory and desperation of everyday existence.himself at sea.
Posted in Biography & Autobiography

The Parent Gap

Tools to Keep Your Cool, Stay Connected and Change Unhealthy Patterns

Author: Randi Rubenstein

Publisher: Morgan James Publishing

ISBN: 1683503066

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: N.A

View: 1017

You swore you were going to raise your kids differently... so why are your parents’ words coming out of your mouth? Maybe you find yourself yelling at 5:30 p.m. during the notorious witching hour? Or what about all those triggered moments, like when your child still hasn’t finished putting on his shoes for school and you have reminded him no less than twenty-seven times! We all want happiness and success for our children throughout their lives. The worry of screwing up the people you love the most is attached to the thought that your behavior will possibly hinder their future state of being. You want the world for them. Close the Parenting Gap shows how to change the patterns you intended to bury from your own childhood by Closing the Parenting Gap – allowing you to access in the heat of the moment that file in your brain with all those parenting tools you took the time to learn. As you Close the Parenting Gap, you will be able to show up as the level-headed adult you truly want to be in your life and especially with your kids. Your confidence and clarity will shine brightly on the fact that you will be sending them off into the world with a rock solid foundation. Using real life stories and practical depictions, Close the Parenting Gap combines the teachings of Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Brené Brown, and Martha Beck with a real-life, down-in-the trenches-parent perspective to create a fun and insightful read. Our kids will be out in the world without us before we know it. The time is now to become reacquainted with the forgotten dreams you had for yourself, your life, and your family years ago. Inspiration and tools abound within these pages to support you in Closing the Parenting Gap and creating the fun, loving, connected experience you want for your family.
Posted in Family & Relationships

No Fear of Failure

Real Stories of How Leaders Deal with Risk and Change

Author: Gary Burnison

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 9781118023068

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 256

View: 561

Candid conversations with top leaders around the world on how they approached pitvotal moments in their careers No Fear of Failure offers insightful, candid conversations with some of the world's top leaders in business, politics, education, and philanthropy—each giving a first-person account of how they approached crucial, career defining moments. Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn/Ferry International, the world's largest executive recruiting firm, sits down one-on-one with a highly select and elite corps, and together they openly discuss how they handled (often very publicly) war, economic downturn, corporate turnover, and even retirement. Together these world-class leaders show the risks one must be willing to take, as well as the vision, resilience, and compassion necessary to lead. Includes original interviews with Michael Bloomberg, Carlos Slim, Eli Broad, Indra Nooyi, Drew Gilpin Faust, Anne Mulcahy, Vincente Fox, Lt. General Franklin L. "Buster" Hagenbeck, Coach John McKissick, Liu Chuanzhi, Daniel Vasella, and Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo Explores the common traits great leaders exhibit: vision, compassion, resilience, competitiveness, purpose, humility, team-building skills, entrepreneurial spirit, perseverance, self-awareness, empowerment, and being a catalyst Taking readers into executive suites, government offices, battlefields, and football fields, No Fear of Failure shows how great leaders make lasting impact. #7 New York Times Best Seller (Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous) #13 New York Times Best Seller (Hardcover Business) #5 Wall Street Journal Best Seller (Hardcover Business) #3 USA Today Best Seller (Money) #17 Publishers Weekly Best Seller (Hardcover Nonfiction)
Posted in Business & Economics

The Up Side of Down

Why Failing Well Is the Key to Success

Author: Megan McArdle

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0143126369

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 299

View: 6147

McArdle weaves together corporate case studies of triumphs and flops, core findings of behavioral economics, and her own bad luck in losing a succession of jobs during the Great Recession. . . . To get where you want to go, McArdle sagely notes, you must first give yourself permission to suck. Seeing how this epiphany earns her a freer, failure-embracing growth mindset is like watching a flower unfold. McArdle combines a shrewd knowledge of economics and practical experience with a writing style that every so often segues into comedy monologue. . . . Americans fail a lot, she argues. . . . But good judgment comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgment from failures. The key question is how you respond, whether you learn from failure and rebound.
Posted in Business & Economics

The Game Theorist's Guide to Parenting

How the Science of Strategic Thinking Can Help You Deal with the Toughest Negotiators You Know--Your Kids

Author: Paul Raeburn,Kevin Zollman

Publisher: Scientific American / Farrar, Straus and Giroux

ISBN: 0374714401

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 240

View: 8725

“I absolutely loved this book, both as a parent and as a nerd.” —Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure As every parent knows, kids are surprisingly clever negotiators. But how can we avoid those all-too-familiar wails of “That’s not fair!” and “You can’t make me!”? In The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting, the award-winning journalist and father of five Paul Raeburn and the game theorist Kevin Zollman pair up to highlight tactics from the worlds of economics and business that can help parents break the endless cycle of quarrels and ineffective solutions. Raeburn and Zollman show that some of the same strategies successfully applied to big business deals and politics—such as the Prisoner’s Dilemma and the Ultimatum Game—can be used to solve such titanic, age-old parenting problems as dividing up toys, keeping the peace on long car rides, and sticking to homework routines. Raeburn and Zollman open each chapter with a common parenting dilemma. Then they show how carefully concocted schemes involving bargains and fair incentives can save the day. Through smart case studies of game theory in action, Raeburn and Zollman reveal how parents and children devise strategies, where those strategies go wrong, and what we can do to help raise happy and savvy kids while keeping the rest of the family happy too. Delightfully witty, refreshingly irreverent, and just a bit Machiavellian, The Game Theorist’s Guide to Parenting looks past the fads to offer advice you can put into action today.
Posted in Family & Relationships

How to be a Happier Parent

Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute

Author: KJ Dell'Antonia

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0735210489

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 320

View: 2715

An encouraging guide to helping parents find more happiness in their day-to-day family life, from the former lead editor of the New York Times Motherlode blog. In all the writing and reporting KJ Dell'Antonia has done on families over the years, one topic keeps coming up again and again: parents crave a greater sense of happiness in their daily lives. In this optimistic, solution-packed book, KJ asks: How can we change our family life so that it is full of the joy we'd always hoped for? Drawing from the latest research and interviews with families, KJ discovers that it's possible to do more by doing less, and make our family life a refuge and pleasure, rather than another stress point in a hectic day. She focuses on nine common problem spots that cause parents the most grief, explores why they are hard, and offers small, doable, sometimes surprising steps you can take to make them better. Whether it's getting everyone out the door on time in the morning or making sure chores and homework get done without another battle, How to Be a Happier Parent shows that having a family isn't just about raising great kids and churning them out at destination: success. It's about experiencing joy--real joy, the kind you look back on, look forward to, and live for--along the way.
Posted in Family & Relationships

The Spiritual Gift of Madness

The Failure of Psychiatry and the Rise of the Mad Pride Movement

Author: Seth Farber

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1594777039

Category: Psychology

Page: 464

View: 1979

A bold call for the “insane” to reclaim their rightful role as prophets of spiritual and cultural transformation • Explains how many of those diagnosed as schizophrenic, bipolar, and other forms of “madness” are not ill but experiencing a spiritual awakening • Explores the rise of Mad Pride and the mental patients’ liberation movement • Reveals how those seen as “mad” must embrace their spiritual gifts to help the coming global spiritual transition Many of the great prophets of the past experienced madness--a breakdown followed by a breakthrough, spiritual death followed by rebirth. With the advent of modern psychiatry, the budding prophets of today are captured and transformed into chronic mental patients before they can flower into the visionaries and mystics they were intended to become. As we approach the tipping point between extinction and global spiritual awakening, there is a deep need for these prophets to embrace their spiritual gifts. To make this happen, we must learn to respect the sanctity of madness. We need to cultivate Mad Pride. Exploring the rise of Mad Pride and the mental patients’ liberation movement as well as building upon psychiatrist R. D. Laing’s revolutionary theories, Seth Farber, Ph.D., explains that diagnosing people as mad has more to do with social control than therapy. Many of those labeled as schizophrenic, bipolar, and other kinds of “mad” are not ill but simply experiencing different forms of spiritual awakening: they are seeing and feeling what is wrong with society and what needs to be done to change it. Farber shares his interviews with former schizophrenics who now lead successful and inspiring lives. He shows that it is impossible for society to change as long as the mad are suppressed because they are our catalysts of social change. By reclaiming their rightful role as prophets of spiritual and cultural revitalization, the mad--by seeding new visions for our future--can help humanity overcome the spiritual crisis that endangers our survival and lead us to a higher and long-awaited stage of spiritual development.
Posted in Psychology

How Children Fail

Author: John Holt

Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books

ISBN: 9780201484021

Category: Psychology

Page: 320

View: 8627

First published in the mid 1960s, How Children Fail began an education reform movement that continues today. In his 1982 edition, John Holt added new insights into how children investigate the world, into the perennial problems of classroom learning, grading, testing, and into the role of the trust and authority in every learning situation. His understanding of children, the clarity of his thought, and his deep affection for children have made both How Children Fail and its companion volume, How Children Learn, enduring classics.
Posted in Psychology

Finish

Give Yourself the Gift of Done

Author: Jon Acuff

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698184807

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 208

View: 7250

Year after year, readers pulled me aside at events and said, “I’ve never had a problem starting. I’ve started a million things, but I never finish them. Why can’t I finish? According to studies, 92 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. You’ve practically got a better shot at getting into Juilliard to become a ballerina than you do at finishing your goals. For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t try hard enough. So I started getting up earlier. I drank enough energy drinks to kill a horse. I hired a life coach and ate more superfoods. Nothing worked, although I did develop a pretty nice eyelid tremor from all the caffeine. It was like my eye was waving at you, very, very quickly. Then, while leading a thirty-day online course to help people work on their goals, I learned something surprising: The most effective exercises were not those that pushed people to work harder. The ones that got people to the finish line did just the opposite— they took the pressure off. Why? Because the sneakiest obstacle to meeting your goals is not laziness, but perfectionism. We’re our own worst critics, and if it looks like we’re not going to do something right, we prefer not to do it at all. That’s why we’re most likely to quit on day two, “the day after perfect”—when our results almost always underper­form our aspirations. The strategies in this book are counterintuitive and might feel like cheating. But they’re based on studies conducted by a university researcher with hundreds of participants. You might not guess that having more fun, eliminating your secret rules, and choosing something to bomb intentionally works. But the data says otherwise. People who have fun are 43 percent more successful! Imagine if your diet, guitar playing, or small business was 43 percent more suc­cessful just by following a few simple principles. If you’re tired of being a chronic starter and want to become a consistent finisher, you have two options: You can continue to beat yourself up and try harder, since this time that will work. Or you can give yourself the gift of done.
Posted in Business & Economics

The Gita For Children

Author: Roopa Pai

Publisher: Hachette India

ISBN: 9351950131

Category: Juvenile Nonfiction

Page: 297

View: 2234

It's one of the oldest books in the world and India's biggest blockbuster bestseller! - But isn't it meant only for religious old people? - But isn't it very long... and, erm, super difficult to read? - But isn?t the stuff it talks about way too complex for regular folks to understand? Prepare to be surprised. Roopa Pai's spirited, one-of-a-kind retelling of the epic conversation between Pandava prince Arjuna and his mentor and friend Krishna busts these and other such myths about the Bhagavad Gita. Lucid, thought-provoking and brimming with fun trivia, this book will stay with you long after you have turned the last page. Why haven't you read it yet?
Posted in Juvenile Nonfiction

Ignore It!

How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction

Author: Catherine Pearlman, PhD, LCSW

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 1524704008

Category: Family & Relationships

Page: 272

View: 5016

This book teaches frustrated, stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can actually inspire positive changes in their kids. With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America’s leading parenting experts, has a simple yet revolutionary solution: Ignore It! Dr. Pearlman’s four-step process returns the joy to child rearing. Combining highly effective strategies with time-tested approaches, she teaches parents when to selectively look the other way to withdraw reinforcement for undesirable behaviors. Too often we find ourselves bargaining, debating, arguing and pleading with kids. Instead of improved behavior parents are ensuring that the behavior will not only continue but often get worse. When children receive no attention or reward for misbehavior, they realize their ways of acting are ineffective and cease doing it. Using proven strategies supported by research, this book shows parents how to: - Avoid engaging in a power struggle - Stop using attention as a reward for misbehavior - Use effective behavior modification techniques to diminish and often eliminate problem behaviors Overflowing with wisdom, tips, scenarios, frequently asked questions, and a lot of encouragement, Ignore It! is the parenting program that promises to return bliss to the lives of exasperated parents.
Posted in Family & Relationships

Why We Fail

Learning from Experience Design Failures

Author: Victor Lombardi

Publisher: Rosenfeld Media

ISBN: 1933820594

Category: Computers

Page: 249

View: 7290

Just as pilots and doctors improve by studying crash reports and postmortems, experience designers can improve by learning how customer experience failures cause products to fail in the marketplace. Rather than proselytizing a particular approach to design, Why We Fail holistically explores what teams actually built, why the products failed, and how we can learn from the past to avoid failure ourselves.
Posted in Computers