Bollocks to Alton Towers

Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Robin Halstead,Jason Hazeley,Alex Morris,Joel Morris

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141021209

Category: Humor

Page: 388

View: 4494

From the writers of 'The Framley Examiner', a guide to great days out in Britain. It covers a collection of unusual places of interest that somehow encapsulate everything that's great about Britain. Originally published: London: Michael Joseph, 2005.
Posted in Humor

Bollocks to Alton Towers

Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Alex Morris,Jason Hazeley,Joel Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141905999

Category: Humor

Page: 416

View: 1127

The British Lawnmower Museum, Keith Harding's World of Mechanical Music and Mad Jack's Sugar Loaf. In a world of theme parks, interactive exhibits, over-priced merchandise and queues, don't worry, these are names to stir the soul. Reassuring evidence that there's still somewhere to turn in search of the small, fascinating, unique and, dammit, British. In a stumbling journey across the country in search of the best we have to offer our intrepid heroes discovered dinosaurs in South London, a cold war castle in Essex, grown men pretending to be warships in Scarborough, unexplained tunnels under Liverpool and a terraced house in Bedford being kept warm for Jesus's return. And along the way they met the people behind them all: enthusiasts, eccentrics and, you know, those who just sort of fell into looking after a vast collection of gnomes ... Makes you proud!
Posted in Humor

Bollocks to Alton Towers

50 Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Jason Hazeley,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Michael Joseph

ISBN: 9780718147914

Category: Great Britain

Page: 238

View: 1997

From the writers of The Framley Examiner and The Framley Museum, a guide to great days out in Britain. It will cover 50 unusual places of interest that somehow encapsulate everything that's great about Britain. This book will guide you to places that might sound dreadful, dull, cheap or grim but are actually worth a trip because they are so unique. From Portreath Bee Centre to Kelvedon Secret Nuclear Bunker to The British Lawnmower Museum, it celebrates the small and unusual rather than whatever new vomit-inducing rollercoaster Chessington is pushing this year. Bollocks to Alton Towers.
Posted in Great Britain

More Bollocks to Alton Towers

Author: Alex Morris,Jason Hazeley,Joel Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141918772

Category: Travel

Page: 464

View: 5650

Leave the hordes behind, pack some sandwiches and head off for a grand day out. Whether it's the National Fruit Collection or the pub where time stood still, Britain is stuffed full of surprising and idiosyncratic local attractions. The authors of Bollocks to Alton Towers, the bestselling celebration of the plucky underdogs of tourism, have ventured even farther off the beaten track and into the corners that corporate branding forgot, to bring you more unique, glorious and uncomonly British days out. Here you'll discover: The garden centre with a replica of Del Boy's living room The joys of a Melton Mowbray pork pie pilgramage The rude charms of the Boscastle Witchcraft Museum The Clowns' Gallery that paints a smile on Hackney's face This book is a reminder of all the odd things that make the British what we are. A hidden, eccentric and joyous world of teas, fans, trains, shoes and puppets is waiting for you out there - far from the sodding crowd.
Posted in Travel

Far from the Sodding Crowd

More Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Jason Hazeley,Robin Halstead

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780718149666

Category: Great Britain

Page: 255

View: 8588

Britons work longer hours than almost any other nation in Europe. But how do we spend our precious days off? Slouching in vast herds beneath the neon canopy of some indistinguishable out-of-town shopping centre? Peering up aisles of self assembly wardrobes? What the hell are we doing with our leisure time?
Posted in Great Britain

Crap Days Out

Author: Gareth Rubin,Jon Parker

Publisher: John Blake Publishing

ISBN: 1843588579

Category: Humor

Page: 300

View: 798

From Land's End to John O'Groats, this Sceptred Isle is riddled with what are laughably referred to as 'attractions'. Rubbish tourism is a proud British tradition, and from Stonehenge to Madam Tussaud's, Shakespeare's birthplace to the Harry Potter Tour, and model villages to a museum dedicated to pencils, Crap Days Out is the quintessential collection of places that will ruin a perfectly good bank holiday.The quintessential guide to why you should have just stayed at home and watched the telly.
Posted in Humor

Wacky Nation

50 Unbelievable Days Out at Britain's Craziest Contests

Author: James Bamber,Sally Raynes

Publisher: Icon Books Limited

ISBN: 9781848310629

Category: Contests

Page: 400

View: 9566

From Worm Charming to Bog Snorkelling, Nettle Eating to Shin Kicking, there's a great British tradition of holding very strange contests in which getting filthy, feeling sick, risking life and limb and above all, looking ridiculous are not mere side-effects, but positively celebrated. Welcome to the Wacky Nation. James Bamber and Sally Raynes, creators of wackynation.com, present 50 of the oddest contests, races and traditions you'd never imagined existed. Think you've got what it takes to become the World Coal Carrying Champion, or maybe the Greatest Liar? Perhaps your forte lies in Gurning? Look no further. With ratings for Spectator Fun, Pain Factor and Wackiness, there's a strong get involved if you dare streak, backed up by the intrepid authors' own experiences (with the scars to prove it) and tips from winners. Each entry will astound and amuse, enticing you to become a world champion or simply a laughing stock. With Wacky Nation, you've no excuse for a dull weekend ever again.
Posted in Contests

Historic Framley

Author: Alex Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780141015286

Category: English newspapers

Page: 128

View: 6551

Featuring spoof newspaper stories from the archives, very silly archaeology and deluded local characters from history, this title uses material from the newspaper archives of The Framley Examiner - a previous text - to take an irreverent trip down memory lane.
Posted in English newspapers

Confessions of a New York Taxi Driver (The Confessions Series)

Author: Eugene Salomon

Publisher: HarperCollins UK

ISBN: 0007500963

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 386

View: 5454

Driving a cab for more than 30 years Gene Salomon has collected a remarkable selection of stories. He shares the very best in this unforgettable memoir.
Posted in Biography & Autobiography

A Brit Different

Author: Keith Didcock,Emma Wood

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781906889074

Category: Contests

Page: 224

View: 4147

'A Brit Different' celebrates everything that makes Britain great. From cheese rolling to nettle eating, the most quaint, quirky and downright ridiculous contests are brought to life in this collection of eccentric British events. This guide arms you with all the practical information you will need to watch or participate in these events.
Posted in Contests

Pies and Prejudice

In Search of the North

Author: Stuart Maconie

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 0091910234

Category: Humor

Page: 354

View: 8934

A Northerner in exile, Stuart Maconie goes on a journey in search of the North, attempting to discover where the clichés end and the truth begins. He travels from Wigan Pier to Blackpool Tower and Newcastle's Bigg Market to the Lake District to find his own Northern Soul, encountering along the way an exotic cast of chippy Scousers, pie-eating woollybacks, topless Geordies, mad-for-it Mancs, Yorkshire nationalists and brothers in southern exile. The bestselling Pies and Prejudice is a hugely enjoyable journey around the north of England.
Posted in Humor

The Politics of Washing

Real Life in Venice

Author: Polly Coles

Publisher: Robert Hale Limited

ISBN: 9780719808784

Category: Travel

Page: 206

View: 1118

This is the story of ordinary life in an extraordinary place. The beautiful city of Venice has been a fantasy land for people from around the globe for centuries, but what is it like to live there? This title is a fascinating window into the world of ordinary Venetians and the strange and unique place they call home.
Posted in Travel

The Framley Examiner

Author: Framley Examiner Editors,MICHAEL JOSEPH

Publisher: Michael Joseph

ISBN: 9780718145798

Category: English newspapers

Page: 112

View: 6669

When the outraged headline cries Cycle Lane Not Even as Long as Small Cycle you know something's not quite right. Welcome to Framley. Like a whimsical, silly step-child of the League of Gentlemen and TV Come Home this brilliant spoof of a local newspaper quickly became a favourite when it appeared online last year. The book of the website of the newspaper, this is set to be a classic.
Posted in English newspapers

Back Story

A Memoir

Author: David Mitchell

Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

ISBN: 9780007351725

Category: Comedians

Page: 326

View: 942

As well as giving a specific account of every single time he's scored some smack, this disgusting memoir also details: the singular, pitbull-infested charm of the FRP ('Flat Roofed Pub') the curious French habit of injecting everyone in the arse rather than the arm why, by the time he got to Cambridge, he really, really needed a drink the pain of being denied a childhood birthday party at McDonalds the satisfaction of writing jokes about suicide how doing quite a lot of walking around London helps with his sciatica trying to pretend he isn't a total **** at Robert Webb's wedding that he has fallen in love at LOT, but rarely done anything about it why it would be worse to bump into Michael Palin than Hitler on holiday that he's not David Mitchell the novelist. Despite what David Miliband might think
Posted in Comedians

Too Much Information

Or: Can Everyone Just Shut Up for a Moment, Some of Us Are Trying to Think

Author: Dave Gorman

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 140903321X

Category: Travel

Page: 352

View: 1045

It’s hard to imagine a world where anything you could possibly want to know about – and everything you don’t even know you want to know about – isn't accessible 24-hours a day, seven days a week, with just a few taps of our fingers. But that world once existed. And Dave Gorman remembers it. He remembers when there were only three channels on TV. He remembers when mobile phones were the preserve of arrogant estate agents and yuppie twonks. And he remembers when you had to unplug your phone to plug the computer into the landline in order to use the (crippling slow) internet. Nowadays of course, the world is full of people trying to tell us things. So much so that we have taught our brains not to pay much attention. After all, click the mouse, tap the screen, flick the channel and it's on to the next thing. But Dave Gorman thinks it's time to have a closer look, to find out how much nonsense we tacitly accept. Suspicious adverts, baffling newspaper headlines, fake twitter, endless cat videos, insane TV shows where the presenters ask the same questions over and over. Can we even hear ourselves think over the rising din? Or is there just too much information?
Posted in Travel

The Saffron Trail

Discover Marrakech in this perfect escapist read

Author: Rosanna Ley

Publisher: Hachette UK

ISBN: 1787471721

Category: Fiction

Page: 400

View: 2642

An exotic tale of lost family secrets from the #1 Kindle Bestseller 'The perfect holiday companion' - Heat 'The ultimate feel-good read' - Candis 'Sun-soaked escapism' - Best ********** After the death of her beloved mother, Nell travels from rural Cornwall to the colour and chaos of Marrakech. Her marriage may be on the rocks, but exploring the heady delights of Moroccan cuisine could help her fulfil her dream of opening her own restaurant. It's there she meets Amy - a young photographer trying to unravel the story behind her family's involvement in the Vietnam War. The two women develop a close friendship and discover a surprising connection between their own pasts. This connection will take Nell and Amy on a journey to find their own 'saffron trail' - from the labyrinthine medina and bustle of Moroccan bazaars all the way back home to Cornwall and to the heart of their families' origins. ******** SEE WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING ABOUT ROSANNA LEY: 'An impeccably researched and deftly written narrative that kept me hooked until the end' - Kathryn Hughes, bestselling author of The Letter 'Loved it from start to finish. A brilliant holiday read' - Amazon reviewer 'Perfect for fans of Santa Montefiore, Victoria Hislop and Leah Fleming' - Candis 'On so many levels a fantastic read' - Amazon reviewer 'A fascinating story with engaging themes' - Dinah Jefferies, bestselling author of The Tea Planter's Wife 'Warm, enthralling, one of my favourite authors' - Amazon reviewer
Posted in Fiction

Invest to Win: Earn & Keep Profits in Bull & Bear Markets with the GainsMaster Approach

Author: Toni Turner,Gordon Scott

Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional

ISBN: 0071798382

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 240

View: 4096

Offers advice on managing investments in both uptrending and downtrending markets, revealing how to evaluate company financial reports, recognize signals that foretell shifts in the market, and exit investments at the right time.
Posted in Business & Economics

Are You Dave Gorman?

Author: Danny Wallace,Dave Gorman

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1448146321

Category: Humor

Page: 400

View: 7277

'A magnificent tale of obsession and adventure' The Independent After a heavy night of tequila, flatmates Dave and Danny set off on what turns out to be a 24,000-mile journey to meet all the other Dave Gormans in the world. They visit Scotland, Israel, America, France and Ireland. They even hold a party in London where 50 Dave Gormans attend, including two women who have kindly changed their name via deed-poll. Silly, but engrossing, fascinating and addictive - and a touching, funny story of two friends who grow to share a mutual obsession. 'A warm, funny, life-enhancing book' The Guardian The average Dave Gorman is 37, 5'6" and works in the financial sector. Our Dave Gorman is 29, is a Perrier Award-nominated comedian and writer. His TV work has earned him two BAFTAs for The Mrs Merton Show as well as his own BBC2 series. Danny Wallace is a writer, producer and award-winning journalist, whose work has appeared in numerous newspapers and magazines including The Guardian, The Independent and Melody Maker.
Posted in Humor

The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

Author: Joel Morris,Jason Hazeley

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 1405925760

Category: Humor

Page: 56

View: 1460

The Ladybird book of the Hipster is your guide to the terminally cool. _________________________________________________ This is a hipster. He is childless, unaccountably wealthy, and always well turned out. He likes art, porridge,s carves, and anything reclaimed from French factories . . . _________________________________________________ Hipsters like to collect old things that are unfashionable, because that makes them fashionable. Vintage washing-up bowls are highly prized, because they look neither retro nor valuable, and therefore both. _________________________________________________ This delightful book is part of a Ladybird series specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Also available: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
Posted in Humor

So Clean

Lord Leverhulme, Soap and Civilisation

Author: Brian Lewis

Publisher: Oxford University Press

ISBN: 0719078040

Category: History

Page: 246

View: 6050

A critical, warts-and-all biography which is fair and balanced, but markedly less hagiographic than some previous studies.
Posted in History